Do you know what the death rate around here is?
One per person.
What is the difference between marriage and death?
Dead people are free.
Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?Pupil: Dead ?, I didnt even know he was sick !
Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ?Because he was dead !
What did the little kid do with the dead battery?He buried it
If a woman is born in Italy, grows up in England, goes to America and dies in Baltimore, what is she?Dead.
Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.